Hope you guys are doing well.
Today I just wanted to retouch on a topic I’ve discussed before.
Oneitis. (Read Kill Your Oneitis)
I believe I was a bit too nice the first time around when discussing this subject….
Sometimes a bit of tough love is necessary in certain scenarios.
But anyways, I’d like to refer to something I tweeted out a couple of weeks ago…
So what did my friend do?
Did he ignore his ex like a champ?
I’ll tell you in just a second….
But first I want to share with you the text he received out of the blue after about three solid months of no contact (I’ll paraphrase)…
(months of no contact)
Friend’s EX: “Hey, have you heard from (mutual friend)….I wonder if her and (mutual friend’s boyfriend) will still be hosting their wedding with all this COVID stuff going on.”
Now….keep in mind that this friend of mine made all the common mistakes after splitting with this woman:
Crying, begging, love letters…..you know the drill.
But suddenly this text out of the blue was his golden opportunity….
Well, he had been very torn up….
He spilled his guts to this broad just to be ignored for months.
Now all of sudden he had this golden chance to walk away on his terms….
The appropriate action upon receiving the random text: (Delete)
But really he should have blocked her months ago (that’s besides the point).
So what did my friend do?
(Same day response): “Hey, great to hear from you. You know I haven’t talked to (mutual friend), but i’ll let you know. How have you been?”
I bet you’re wondering the response he got back.
(Next day text from ex): “It’s fine. I actually heard from (mutual friend).”
Callous, cold, and no cigar.
Let me be very clear.
The reason this girl reached out to my friend was for one reason only: To see if she still had this man wrapped around her fingers.
And by responding my friend fell right in line with her expectation, “Of course he’ll come running back.”
Tough Love On Oneitis
There is one lesson that every father should teach his son about women (above all else and especially early on).
They are replaceable. Don’t lose sleep over any particular one.
It’s as simple as that.
And now time for the tough love part…..
She doesn’t want you.
She got to know you….not the you that is projected to the public….but the real you.
And that wasn’t enough for her.
What little self respect do you have to chase after someone who has chewed you up and failed to see your value.
Are you that weak you can’t walk away?
Now I know the mentality you have…..“All I want is to have her back, I’ll never find another girl like her.”
Time for some more tough love:
You wrote a 10 page letter glorifying the ground she walked on.
Do you not realize how pathetic that is?
We’ve all been there at least once brother, but it’s time to sack up and walk away. (A Man’s Superpower….)
There is a lot at stake here.
For one, your peace of mind.
And on the other hand, your time.
“It’s her loss.”
“She’ll be hitting the wall soon…I lucked out.”
“Dodged a bullet.”
“There are plenty of other women out there.”
These are the thoughts you should have
“She was the one.”
“I can’t believe I messed up that bad.”
“How can I win her back?”
“I feel hopeless.”
Cut these thoughts ruthlessly.
They are garbage thoughts.
I am certain that most men have experienced some form of oneitis in their lives.
I know of at least guy who hung himself over some girl who didn’t want him.
A woman’s love is never worth your life….
But back to the tough love.
Quit being a weakling.
Show some damn strength.
This girl has likely been pumped and dumped many a times in all this time you have been wallowing for her….
While you were stalking her social media, she was bending over for chad.
While you were crying like a little girl…
She was swiping on Bumble.
She is not a unicorn….
If she was she would have seen your value.
You lucked out brother.
“I feel like I am in a hopeless hole though.”
The only way out of a hopeless hole is up….
You can’t get out of it by wallowing in the dirt.
You’re a man….
And overcoming adversity is in a man’s nature.
So get up.
Kill Your Oneitis
It’s really simple.
- Out of sight out of mind.
- Ignorance is bliss.
- Time to invest in myself.
These are your new mantras.
I am not saying you have to go full MGTOW monk mode for the rest of your days.
What I am saying is introspect.
Why are you letting this woman dictate and hold so much power over your happiness and peace of mind?
You are in control of your happiness now.
Fill your mind with wisdom.
Focus on the things enjoy.
Spend time with those you love.
And as for that women who caused you all that pain….your oneitis.
Walk away, block her, and delete the number…..
She is now just a distant memory.
Time will heal your wounds, but only if you let it.
Wallowing over oneitis is for the weak.
You are not weak.
It takes a strong strong man to walk away and never look back.
So do it.
Good luck brother.