I am sure most of you know what oneitis is.
In case you don’t,
Oneitis: Infatuation/fixation on one girl; The belief that this one girl is a special unicorn sent from heaven and her affection/love will cure all of your ills.
This is a tough problem for a lot of guys.
And actually what inspired me to write this today is a good friend of mine is dealing with Oneitis right now.
I spoke with him just last night.
Friend: “I want to reconcile with her…she is texting me and face-timing me, but not giving me a clear answer….I feel confused.”
Me: “Go no contact and focus on yourself for the next couple months….she wants your attention….you need to take her off her pedestal….put yourself first.”
Friend: “I just want to know one way or the other….I need closure.“
Now there is an important backstory to this.
In an attempt to reconcile with this girl my good friend poured his guts out in a six page letter (keep in mind this was sent months prior to their recent communication).
I read the letter.
And without violating my friend’s privacy I read six pages of the following:
“It’s all my fault.”
“Take me back.”
“You are the most glorious woman on Earth.”
“You are irreplaceable.”
“I will change myself to earn your love back.”
Now those aren’t exact quotes….just a synopsis.
“So did you redpill him Mikey?”
This is a very blue pilled friend I’ve had for many many years. And I have tried many a times to drop him some harsh redpills….
You see my friend is currently in a state of infatuation.
His judgement is clouded….his faculty of reason is impeded by the illusory effects of his Oneitis.
Now i’d be 100% lying to you if I said I never had oneitis. I had a few severe cases of oneitis prior to swallowing the red pill.
And that’s why I feel qualified to speak on this subject.
But there is one thing I wish my father had taught about women as young man…..
“All women are replaceable.”
And in the case of my friend above….he believes just the opposite.
“This woman is my only shot.”
“I will never find another one like her.”
In the many convos I’ve had with my friend he has revealed many red flags about this woman (he has in fact dodged a bullet).
He’d do himself a great service by going MGTOW for 6-12 months and simply trying to find a source of fulfillment outside of women.
But he is too infatuated to realize his good fortune.
So that bring us to the question…..
How Do I Kill My Oneitis?
Now I am sure some of you used to read the Chateau Heartiste blog back in the day….
And his advice was: Fuck 10 women that are hotter/better than your oneitis. And your oneitis will vanish.
The problem with this remedy is it doesn’t solve the root problem….yourself.
After all….what is to stop you from developing oneitis for one of these new “hotter” women.
It is my opinion that there are two fronts from which you can destroy your oneitis.
1. Dopamine Fast
When a man is suffering from oneitis he will be prone to partake in many harmful behaviors:
-Initiating texts with his oneitis
-Stalking her social media accounts
-Fapping to the thought of his former princess
It’s not so obvious, but this girl has become an integral part of the reward center in your brain.
It’s similar to porn addiction really (although not as brain damaging)….
Have sex with oneitis–>Dopamine hit
Oneitis gives you attention–>Dopamine hit
See Oneitis posts on facebook–>Dopamine hit
You have to cold turkey this one brother.
You’ve heard it before….and it’s exactly what I told my friend above.
Commit to no-contact for an extended period of time….no texts, no social media stalking (Block her), no chasing, no nothing.
You are fasting your reward center from the dopamine hit your oneitis gave you….
What will inevitably happen is your brain will be forced to rewire and seek new pathways for that dopamine hit.
Bringing me to my next suggestion…
2. MGTOW recovery phase
Now that you have committed going cold turkey from your oneitis you can structure a plan for recovery.
Question the beliefs that led you to feel so empty that you couldn’t suffer one moment without the company of an average woman (most are below average these days)…..
In the case of my friend….it was beliefs like:
-“There are soulmates.”
-“She is irreplaceable.”
-“I can’t live without her.
-“She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
Question those beliefs.
“There are billions of other women out there….is she really irreplaceable?”
“I had many good moments in my life before I met this girl….I lived without her then.”
“If she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me….why do I feel so miserable now?”
Once you sort that shit out…..it’s time to embrace your freedom.
Go MGTOW for 6-12 months and find meaning in your life outside of female validation.
I wrote an article last week to help you get started, MGTOW Principles.
-Build your body
-Build a skill
-Revisit friends/family that you may have avoided during your stint of oneitis
It’s up to you brother.
But don’t let this infatuation dominate your life.
Oneitis: A Time thief
Time for some tough love.
When you chase a woman that isn’t reciprocating your efforts….
You are simping away your scarce asset of time.
You are putting pussy on a pedestal higher than your own peace of mind.
“It’s easier said than done Mikey….this girl meant so much to me.”
That’s the thing about oneitis.
Just like my friend….I can try and shove red pills down your throat….
I can try and give you practical step that have helped me….
But oneitis builds thick skulls.
And this is what you need to hear more than anything:
She doesn’t want you.
When you write that romantic gushy letter….her tingles dry up like water in the Sahara.
When you beg and plead….when you chase like a little a simp….it’s repulsive.
Pity kills attraction.
But that’s not what this blog is about.
It’s about taking back your freedom and realizing that you don’t need female validation to feel fulfilled in life.
Quit being a slave to pussy.
You’re letting this girl live in your head rent free.
I know those are some harsh words, but I’ve seen many friends and even myself lose a great deal of time and peace of mind to oneitis.
She is not the one….
She is just the one that your brain is wired to right now….
Adjust beliefs + No contact + 6-12 months of MGTOW & self investment
I believe this is the remedy to oneitis.
Good luck brother.
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